- [Researcher] Hey there, Susan.

- [Susan] Hey, how ya doin'?

- [Researcher] Great.

What do you think we might be up to today?

- You're probably gonna age me.

- [Researcher] Exactly.

So we're going to be aging you into your 80s.

- We can't go back to the 80s?

- [Researcher] No, we're not going back to the 80s.

- When she started showing me all the pieces, it was like, "What!"

It was a full neck piece, the hair, everything.

- [Makeup Artist] It's a little crazy, but I like it.

- When it was all done, he gave me the mirror.

- [Researcher] Open up your eyes.

- Oh my God.

(Susan sucks teeth) I didn't expect this.

(music swells) - [Narrator] By 2045, the average American will live to the age of 85.

This is difficult to fathom for most.

Few of us want to think about aging.

- Look at my mandolin.

(chuckles) - Hmm.

- My dad doesn't want help.

He's a typical baby boomer American, pull yourself up by the bootstraps.

I did this on my own, I can get through it on my own.

- This is a cute little house from the front.

- [Narrator] In fact, at least two thirds of Americans do little to ready themselves for growing older.

- There's just so many variations in how life could play out.

How do you prepare for the unknown?

- [Narrator] Meanwhile, planning for our lives as older adults could dramatically increase our wellbeing.

- This is really interesting.

(laughs) - [Narrator] So we asked families from around the country to think about what it means to get older and took them on an immersive journey 30 years into their futures to see what life might be like in their 80s.

- This is what I have to look forward to.

- Yeah.

- [Narrator] Each family spent a week exploring how they might feel.

- Oh wow, it was an experience.

Watch your head.

- [Narrator] What challenges they might face together.

- It's like stepping into a different world completely.

- You all did very well.

(overlapping chatter) - We did it, Mom!

- [Narrator] And caught a glimpse of what the future might hold.

- It's like a one in a lifetime experience.

It's like, wow.

- [Narrator] All of them considered, if they knew now what they'll know then, would they change anything?

(dramatic orchestral music) (clock ticks) (motor rumbles) (bright music) ♪ I'm gonna pour this coffee ♪ ♪ A little bit slower ♪ - I don't dwell on aging or a failure of health.

You can be all you can be, health-wise, but when it's your time, it's your time.

Ha!

5-2.

- I don't think my dad would ever admit to fearing death.

I think he talks a big game.

Yeah!

But might not believe it.

♪ Ooh ♪ - If it was possible to send younger people into their 80s, I would hope that they would not anticipate it being entirely negative.

We need to make sure that we prepare for old age, rather than simply fear what we will lose.

- [Narrator] One of the most predictable things about aging is that our bodies will change.

Using an aging suit developed by MIT, we showed Drey what aging 50 years into his future might feel like.

- The MIT age lab developed AGNES, the Age Gain Now Empathy System, to give the user, typically students or researchers that aha moment, empathy, to understand what it would be like to walk in the older adult's shoes.

- Once you get that on, Drey, you're gonna understand why I don't wanna play basketball anymore.

(chuckles) This is so much fun.

- I want this suit to work out in.

I was excited at first.

I almost looked at it as a way to test my strength.

That's everything.

What, you're gonna strap my head down?

This can't be what it's like, you guys.

MIT has overestimated it.

(Roger laughs) - AGNES has many different pieces.

(mysterious music) The helmet holds the straps that begin to stiffen your neck.

A neck brace, also reducing the flexibility, and the goggles to simulate vision decline.

(lenses clicking) The gloves reduce your sense of feel, your dexterity.

Weights and bungees reduce the amount of flexibility.

Finally, the shoes that we're using are not a style statement.

They're actually to reduce your balance, to make you a little less sure.

- Wow, it was an experience.

- Reach up as far as you can.

- Come on, get it up there.

- Oh you, yeah.

- [Narrator] We had Drey participate in a fitness class for older adults, aimed at strengthening balance and mobility.

- [Man] Come on, old man, reach!

(class laughs) - I was the one struggling.

- Walk with purpose, pump your arms.

- Walking and those old ladies passing me was really hard.

- At this point, our heart rate should be up.

How's your heart rate, Drey?

- [Drey] It's up high, probably 120.

(women laugh) - I usually do 20 minutes of pretty powerful cardio, even before I start lifting weights at the gym.

But after 20 minutes, I started to feel a light tiredness.

Whew.

In 30 minutes, I was pretty fatigued.

When you guys breathe, does it feel like you're heavy?

- Yeah.

(laughing) - I was sore and tired, and sore.

(laughs) In the last 20 minutes, I was just barely doing what I needed to do to survive.

- [Barbara] 'Kay, very slowly rotate and do the other side.

- [Narrator] We asked experts from across the field of aging to watch clips of our subjects' experiences and weigh in.

- What Drey was not having the opportunity to experience here, is the slow adaptation that can occur over time.

When you actually are living it, you adjust and it doesn't seem so impossible.

- [Drey] Everybody should have to do this.

(laughing) Everyone in their-- - Younger people?

- 20s and 30s should have to do this.

- Yeah, yeah.

- Just so there's empathy.

- Teach your empathy.

Have patience with older people.

- Yes.

(upbeat music) - [Narrator] All of the families tried on MIT's aging suit to get a sense of what it will feel like to be in their 80s.

- Could have just drank a bunch of whiskey last night.

I would have felt like this.

♪ There's something in the air, I sense it ♪ - Definitely putting strain on my neck.

This is what aging feels like.

♪ I can hear a storm that's rumbling ♪ - Can't cast that far now.

- (groans) My aching joints.

- This is actually the best part of this.

- Wow.

(both laugh) - One thing the suit did teach you was don't ask too much of me, 'cause I can't do it.

♪ I feel it ♪ - Oh my God, I can't see a thing.

- [Researcher] How high can you lift your arms?

- [Abe] That's it.

- That's so hard to lift your feet up.

Okay, this is getting tougher.

- See where the door is?

- Yeah.

- I felt he was dainty and fragile.

Watch your head.

I felt that I'm the one that's kinda looking out for my dad now.

- It's not fun getting older, guys.

- I couldn't do things that I wanted to do.

Yeah, made me think quite a bit.

- It's Susan, how ya doin' today?

(bright music) I don't really think about aging at all.

I take my life day by day.

All right, darlin', all right, bye.

But I definitely don't wanna go to a nursing home.

My very first job out of nursing school was a nursing home.

I don't wanna be out of sight, out of mind.

- Hey, y'all.

- Sophie's always been there for me.

She is the one who's gonna take care of me.

Which is hard to even think about, someone taking care of me when I get old.

(Sophie whistling) - I've already talked to my partner about that.

I have this Airstream trailer that I'm working on.

They call it a mother-in-law cottage.

Eventually, she could live back there and be close to us.

We could take care of her until we couldn't anymore.

(thoughtful music) - It's a weird feeling, having more weight in the head.

Limited where I can't, just a weird feeling.

- [Narrator] Feeling what it's like to be in your 80s is a start, but we wanted to show our families the futures they've imagined.

For Susan, this means life in the Airstream Sophie is designing for her.

(mysterious music) I feel very unbalanced.

Very...

I don't know, like my world has gotten really small.

(laughs) It's gotten really claustrophobic.

'Cause I can't really see that well.

Everything just feels tight, like I wanna lay down.

- [Researcher] Well, why don't you try-- - (laughs) I don't wanna lay down!

'Cause then I gotta get up.

(music swells) I'm scared.

I never thought of myself at that age.

I haven't gotten there yet, where I see myself when I'm 80.

I can't even see myself when I'm 60.

(Susan laughs) (Susan sighs) Everything looks really foggy, really blurry, really, I don't know, miserable.

Having that feeling of helplessness, feeling that I couldn't really take care of myself anymore, waiting for someone to come help me, maybe fix a meal.

And I was thinking about being this old lady alone, waiting for my child to come visit me.

I had a lot of emotions, being alone.

This is not how I'm gonna be, (sighs) I'm not.

The hands, I'm used to using-- - While AGNES may be about what we can't do physically, it's also isolating and social isolation is perhaps one of the greatest crises for an aging population.

One study suggests that being socially isolated is the equivalent health impact of smoking a pack of cigarettes per day.

So in that sense, AGNES is a teachable moment.

Do you eat as well alone as you do with other people?

Do you take care of yourself and take the medications on time, with the right dose?

Exercising is a way of getting out and strengthening those muscles.

When we live isolated, we lose those good behaviors, speeding up what we see in AGNES, which need not be destiny.

(thoughtful orchestral music) - So back heel down, back leg straight.

We're gonna just do a lunge, but we're gonna hold it.

- [Roger] Oh, I'll bet that's to get a cramp out.

- You could.

- 'Cause this guy's always cramping in the middle of the night.

- Yeah.

- Oh.

(laughing) - I was just watching my dad in relation to some of the other people there and seeing how his flexibility and how his balance was.

- Feet on the floor.

- Straighten your leg.

- There we go.

- They are.

- Straighten your legs!

(laughing) Yeah, scoot up.

- They are!

(class laughing) - [Drey] Look at hers, look how perfect-- - [Roger] Oh yeah, I get the end of the chair.

- Point your toes!

- I told him, "This lady next to you is kicking your butt."

And she had to have been in her middle 80s.

And there was people that were much older than him that have better balance than he did, and that was concerning.

- It makes me think about aging for longevity.

- [All] Mm-hmm.

- My dad can still make choices to age in a healthy manner.

- [Barbara] I had the same problem, but I did have a way to-- - Older adults, just by walking, they can preserve their memory.

They can preserve their cognitive function and their heart health.

Maintaining or preserving mobility could really save a lot in the long run.

- So Roger, what do you think?

- I think that the class was highly beneficial.

- Would you do it?

- Eventually, you betcha.

- [Drey] What do you mean, eventually?

- Eventually.

- When?

- When he gets old.

- When I'm, when I feel that I'm ready to uh... (class laughs) - [Drey] He doesn't think he's there yet.

This experience will help him with that.

(dramatic music) (crying softly) - Don't cry, you're gonna be all right!

- [Narrator] Susan's daughter, Sophie came by to see how her mom was doing in her future home.

- You wanna sit down?

You got it.

It's hot in here, too.

- That's not the problem.

Problem is, is that, you know?

- What, the getting old?

- Yeah, getting old, I don't wanna think about it too much.

Okay.

(sniffs) - Thank you.

(kisses) You're doin' all right.

- Okay.

- Even though you just jabbed me in the head with those goggles.

(Susan laughs) I felt I had to make her feel safe and loved, and not afraid.

And that sort of stopped me from feeling things.

Well, you better get used to living in here 'cause this is gonna be your little mother-in-law house.

I'll get you a little ramp out in front.

(laughs) You can ramp your ass in!

I'd make it nice for her, she'd love that.

And she could be in the yard, hanging out and stuff.

That would be probably ideal for her.

- You wanna go take a spin?

- Yeah, let's do it.

- Here, stay where you are, I'll get you up.

(bright acoustic music) And besides, you'll have me to help you!

- Okay.

- [Sophie] And then I'll get you down these steps, thank you.

- One of the things that we see with Susan is that insight into what needs to be done and to our environment.

- Right there, you got it.

Bloop, bloop!

And then this is the last one, bloop!

♪ Are you ever coming back to me ♪ - Put your hands on my shoulder.

- [Dr. Coughlin] Where we live is going to be a dictation as to how well we live in an older age.

- I mean, you've got it when it's out in the open.

I just gotta keep an eye on you so you don't slip and fall.

- The old adage about real estate, location, location, location?

- [Sophie] You got it?

- [Susan] Yup.

- Much can be said about where we age.

♪ Without someone to tell me that I'm still ♪ - I always thought I didn't wanna be in a long-term care facility, but I never thought, "This is where I'm gonna be."

- Easier to walk out?

(laughs) - It was too hard, the potential of falling.

Somebody had to come in and take care of me, they couldn't do it there.

- Would you feel comfortable living in the Airstream?

That would be, for me, the dopest idea for it in the future.

- I just can't imagine my life in such a little space.

Living in the Airstream, that might be something that Sophie might wanna do, but I don't wanna do that.

I think that I could live in it-- - It would just have to be modified so that you have more... - It just, it feels a little close, you know?

- Yeah.

I just haven't really, fully formed the idea of my mom not being the woman that she is right now, which is headstrong and able-bodied.

My mom is gonna get older.

(laughs) That's hard and scary to think about.

- Thinking about the future, it is important that we take a realistic look at what could happen and preparing ourselves, preparing our home environments, and having the conversations with family and friends to ensure that as you age, you're able to age in such a way that you really want to.

That you're able to age with dignity.

(mellow reverberant music) - [Narrator] We also wanted to give our subjects an idea of how their family might look, 30 years in the future.

- I took my girl vitamins today.

- [Narrator] Carol is a former model, whose professional life is centered on selling anti-aging makeup.

- I don't like when someone goes, "How old is your daughter?"

If I tell you how old my daughter is, then that's telling you how old I am.

Aging's not the easiest subject for me.

I'm already having a hard time right now with some of my own little things that's different than I was five or 10 years ago.

- I had my mom confide in me about certain things, like beauty-related things.

(laughs) - We knew there would be some parts of what we did that would be up close and personal with aging.

♪ I'm coming, can you hear what I hear ♪ ♪ It's calling you, my dear ♪ ♪ Out of reach ♪ ♪ Take me to my beach ♪ ♪ I can hear it calling you ♪ ♪ I'm coming, not drowning ♪ ♪ Swimming closer to you ♪ - But you guys got me with the aging makeup.

(energetic synth music) I didn't expect that one.

♪ Never been here before ♪ ♪ I'm intrigued, I'm unsure ♪ - Empathy about the aging process is something that I have but it was okay, well now here you are going to face what might be some of the physical changes.

- Look at your gray hair!

(laughing) Vanity is a really big deal for me and I realized how vain I actually am.

(laughs) I'm not laughing, I'm trying not to cry any further.

- I thought I would look in the mirror and just, I don't know, have a similar response but I just kind of looked in there and I was like, "It's me."

- At least you can still see yourself.

I don't see me at all.

- I can see you.

- I don't look good.

(laughs and cries) - There were parts of her that still looked like her.

Her lips looks like those lips that I've always known, ever since I was a kid, the ones that love red lipstick.

- You're cryin'!

Mom.

It was tough because I was thinking about what that would be like for her.

It's all right.

- People are often concerned about how somebody else is going to take a conversation or discussion about aging.

I wonder if they think it's so tough because they're addressing mortality.

It's hard to see your mom looking like a much older person and recognizing that you won't always have her there with you.

(bright orchestral music) - [Narrator] Everyone got a chance to see what they might look like in 30 years.

- [Researcher] Abe Barrientos in his 80s.

(laughing) - Oh my-- - You kinda look like the guy from "Kung Fu," like the monk in the temple.

- [Abe] Hello!

- Oh no!

(laughing) I can't show Maddy these, she's gonna divorce me.

She's like, "That's what I gotta look forward to?"

I was kind of uncomfortable with how I looked, so that's why I was making all those cheeky comments.

- We're putting a little bit of makeup on.

As a woman, I do feel that societal pressure to look a certain way forever and ever.

Oh my God, whoa.

The mirror was a shock.

My skin is falling (chuckles) off my face.

But I think I look good with a gray.

A gray is a solid look for me.

I kinda was worried that I'd feel worse about it, but I still feel like myself.

(dramatic orchestral music) - Oh, (laughs) man.

Oh you guys, this is bringing me back to college.

I looked in the mirror once and saw my dad, and that's what I see right now.

Well, that's a trip.

It was so shocking.

It was frightening, but funny, but sad.

I don't know how to feel.

It's hard to be looking at myself and knowing that someday I'll be here, and accepting that.

- What is it that we are told when we're older?

That we are irrelevant.

There's such fear of that, that we immediately are repelled.

- (stammers) You know, I have no words.

(chuckles) - [Researcher] You have no words?

- Mm-mm.

- [Researcher] Are you okay?

- Mm-hmm.

- Okay.

- It's just a lot.

I mean-- - Okay.

(Carol sniffs) - To be old is thought not to be alive and purposeful, and having a lively life with your peers.

And that's part of the transformation of the narrative about age that is so hard to fight, and yet is being fought everyday by actual 80 year olds.

(laughs) By actual 70 year olds, by actual 60 year olds who are increasingly finding purpose and meaning and engagement in the world that we live in.

- [Narrator] We took Carol to an art class at a local Philadelphia senior community center to have her portrait done, in her makeup, as her 80 year old self.

- We're doing collages based around you, Carol.

Inspirational thoughts about aging.

- I'm in the fashion beauty industry with aging.

I'm having a very hard time with it and so, you know.

- I know what you mean.

- Huh?

- I said, I know what you mean.

Every time I walk past the bathroom mirror, I'm always surprised at the person I see there.

I say, "Who is that?"

(laughing) And I have to figure out it's me, oh, ah.

- (laughs) Well, you're beautiful.

- I am 89 years old.

- [Carol] Wow.

- And I'm 80, and I'm also the gossip columnist for this center, like if somebody's getting married.

Someone in the center is pregnant, I'm the first to report it, okay?

(laughing) - Interesting to see their interpretation of age and how they're dealing with it.

It's lovely that you guys are all embracing it.

The collages that they had made of me, that was so beautiful and inspiring.

It was so much beauty from a group of women who don't know me at all.

But yet, I guess the commonality was that I'm in their age group.

(chuckles tearfully) You guys are warming my heart.

(sniffs) (gentle music) - [Narrator] Carol and all of our participants also had to think about how else their lives might change, for themselves and for the rest of their families.

Someone turning 65 today has almost a 70% chance of needing long-term care at some point during the rest of their lives.

And a trend towards more accessible, more personalized care may be key to aging successfully in the future.

- The future of care for older adults in 2045, we can't even begin to imagine what that might be.

But we can imagine what people will want.

- [Narrator] So next, we took all of our families to the doctor to give them a sense of what medical care might look like in their 80s.

- Remain as active as you can, and you will live your best life.

- Morning.

- Roger, welcome!

To our geriatric clinic.

- [Narrator] We took Roger and Drey to the Saint Alphonsus geriatric unit in Boise, Idaho for a consultation with a healthcare team that specializes in serving older adults.

- I will ask a few questions and take your vitals.

- Might be a hard experience, 'cause I don't like the healthcare setting as it is.

(velcro rips) And the fact that it'll be health-related to my dad, and I don't see his health inclining in 20 years.

(machine beeps) - Any family history we should know of?

- My father, in his 80s, had a stroke.

- Some of the challenges with my dad in the aging process are encouraging him to stay social, to take medical advice about his habits.

'Cause he doesn't wanna admit that he's aging.

- [Sabina] Any functional status changes with walking or taking care of yourself?

- Uh, no.

- What about cognitive status?

If you were to learn something new, are you accepting, motivated, in denial?

- It seems like you learn something new every day-- - [Sabina] Yeah!

- When you listen to the news or the papers.

- Do you have any barriers to learning?

- No, other than the fact that I think I know it all.

- Oh, I see.

- No.

(both laugh) Being 65 and in good health right now, things they pointed out don't apply to me.

- We like this to be patient-focused, so we'd like to hear from you what exactly you'd like to get from this whole group today.

- Well, a thumbs up.

- A thumbs up, okay.

(chuckling) Can you tell me a little more about what that means?

- To ascertain that I am in good health at my age.

- Can we ask Drey if there's anything he'd like to add?

- Takes two Advil every day, that's always concerning to me.

I would like to know what impact that has on his health.

- Good question.

- Liquid gels.

(talking over each other) - I don't think he needs to be taking painkillers every single day, but-- - Okay, all right.

- [Drey] I don't know if that has an effect or not.

- [Roger] Better not be, 'cause I've been doin' it for 10 years.

- In the future, all older adults should have access to an interdisciplinary team where people take the time to know what they value, what they want.

- Your regimen is actually very, very good.

One concern, the more Advil that you take, you have an increased risk of heart attack, an increased risk of kidney damage.

And so, what we like to do when we focus on pain-- - But it's not pain, it's not pain as you would describe it.

- Okay, okay.

- [Drey] But why take an anti-pain pill?

- I don't look at it like an anti-pain pill.

I don't have a pain, it's an ache and soreness.

- Okay.

- What is soreness if it's not pain?

Help me.

- [Jeremy] I would suggest trying Tylenol or at the very least, trying just one Advil, too.

- Okay.

- [Jeremy] And our goal is always the lowest effective dose.

- I'll try that.

(keys tapping) - [Drey] There was some really good information that was shared with my dad about-- - Family relationships are critical.

This whole scene is seeped in the relational dynamic between the father and the son.

Probably the big driver going forward in terms of both of their wellbeing is how that goes.

But as long as it's completely unspoken and unaddressed, then it just becomes sort of this thing in the backdrop that may actually lend itself to a lot of challenges going forward.

- Very interesting, this is what I have to look forward to.

- Yeah, this is real.

- If I-- - If you quit taking the Advil.

- (scoffs) I don't believe a word they say.

Hell, they don't know.

Something's good for you one day and then a few years, next thing you know, it's bad for you.

- Well, 10 years taking one pill that you don't need.

- I don't care.

- You can decrease-- - Think about all you get when I pass.

You get my Chevrolet, 46 Chevrolet truck.

- Picturing my role in my dad's aging process, I wanna be available to him when he needs me, if he wants me there.

And then it'll probably come to a point where he won't want me there and I'll be there anyway.

- Okay.

(mouse clicks) - There are 40 million family caregivers in the United States, and one in four family caregivers are millennial.

People who are taking on the role of family caregiving are often caught by surprise at the level of complexity of what that care means.

We need to better educate individuals around what could potentially be their responsibilities when caring for someone in the home.

(bright music) - [Narrator] Understanding caregiving will be important for our families.

To help Sophie and Susan consider this, we took the pair to visit a local caregiving training seminar to learn the basics of home care that Sophie might one day give her mom.

- What I do is the personal care training.

What we're gonna talk about today is doing transfers using a Hoyer lift.

You're up.

(laughs) Okay, so Miss Susan, I want you to just lie down flat in the bed, okay?

- It was about the mechanics of it.

How do you get someone who is infirm from a bed, into a shower?

- Fold it like this and like that.

We wanna make sure she is in the middle of this thing perfectly.

- Of this thing.

- Okay?

- All right, Miss Susan.

Don't be moving, you gotta stay like you're old.

I gotta really practice, Mom.

- Okay.

(laughs) - My mom has had a lot of exposure to aging, the elderly, the sick.

So my mom knew everything that I didn't.

- This is letting it down, this is going up.

- The person who might be bed-bound, you lift them up with a hydraulic lift.

Don't go reaching for it.

I'm very familiar with seeing you in that position and it was kind of surreal to be you, and you're the person who needs my help.

We're gonna strap you in here.

- I can't imagine you doing this.

(chuckling) - Mom!

- Can you just hire these people?

(laughs) - You don't know it, Susan, but I'm gonna be showering your butt.

- I was laughing about it, but I took it serious.

Made me think about, this could be me.

Made me think about the day to day care that you might have to give me.

- It made me feel better about that part of it because it was like oh, I could do this.

- I'll be honest with you, I would want you to hire somebody.

- Are you serious right now, that you're not gonna let me give you a bath?

(pump whooshing) - If you could hire somebody, that'd be really good for me.

(Weegie laughs) I'm serious, it's not-- - Well you better start savin', Miss Susan.

- I'll save up for that.

It felt really weird having Sophie do that.

- We got this, Mama.

- I just don't wanna be a burden, like most people.

I think that's probably everybody's biggest wish.

- No, no, I'ma get ya, I'ma get ya.

- Okay.

- I would have no shame in showering my mom.

How does that feel?

- It feels good.

- I, thanks to my mom, have a very strong sense of okay, this is not weird.

This is something that has to happen and we have to clean this person up, so being weird and upset about it isn't gonna change it.

But, realizing that my mom might have a different feeling when it's her own child doing it.

We did it, Mom!

- We did it, I'm happy.

- Very good.

- That wasn't that bad, actually.

I thought it was gonna be harder to lift that thing, but it's not.

- Mm-mm.

- Medicine, technology, science has gotten so advanced that we do live longer, with more chronic or serious illness.

As a society and culture and country, we really need to have more respect for the burden that family caregivers are taking on, especially seniors who are also caregivers.

(birds chirp) - Made some sweet potato and-- This whole experience actually is exposing a lot.

That 85 (laughs) year old suit was hard.

Your food's ready, Mami.

I realized there's gonna come a point in time that I won't be able to do what I'm doing now.

- It's around.

- I work from home and I take care of my mother-in-law, Carmen.

Even though she is going through Alzheimer's, she's fairly healthy.

(mellow music) I'm 61 and I'm pretty healthy.

Probably take care of her as long as I'm able to.

But you're making me think it's something that I need to think about and plan out.

- [Leo] Look at that.

- [Abe] Oh yeah, they're nibbling it.

- Going through this whole experience, I wouldn't say that I'm 100% prepared for my parents getting older, but I do know a little bit of what to expect.

(line whirs) The aging suit made me realize if you don't have someone guiding you, you could fall.

- [Abe] Planning on bringing me fishing when I'm 85?

- Yeah, if you can make it down here.

(both laugh) It was a big lesson for me to learn.

If I was ever put in that position, if someone else had to take care of me, would I be okay with it?

- [Narrator] Everybody's story will be different as we age, so we personally tailored our family's journeys to give them the most relevant experiences possible.

- Hello!

(talking over each other) - [Abe] How are you?

- Teepa, nice to meet you.

- Teepa?

Likewise.

- [Narrator] Given their family history of Alzheimer's, we had Abe and Leo visit with the leading practitioner in caregiving for those suffering from dementias.

- You have a family member who's having some issues.

- Yes.

- What's the impact on them, but we should also be thinking about what's the impact on us.

- On us.

- So what would be really important for us to know is, what's part of just who you are and what's a change with aging?

Have you thought about establishing your own baseline on your cognition?

(thoughtful music) We don't know what our baseline is, how do we know if we're sliding?

- With everything that's happening, it's kind of brought to light, I could be in that situation one day.

- So I'm gonna have you do something and it's called trail making.

Without lifting your pen from the paper, start with the number one, and then you go to the first letter of the alphabet.

So it's one, A, two, B.

- Got it.

- Okay, ready, and go.

(bright music) - It's harder than it looks.

- Uh-huh.

(groans) (laughing) - [Leo] Did you pick your pen up?

- [Abe] No, I didn't-- - [Teepa] He just figured something out though.

(Abe groans) - I'm done.

- Uh-huh.

- [Leo] But I missed this one.

- Here's what I noticed.

We had two very different outcomes because your brain heard part of the instructions and it thought it got what the thing was gonna be, and so you quit listening to me.

(Leo laughs) - I did.

- My dad just kinda started doing his own matching numbers game.

- How typical is that of you?

- Uh, quite a bit.

- You're a guy who is more likely to go ahead and do something, and then find out, oops.

- Yeah.

- What could happen as you age, is it could frustrate you 'cause you're gonna say, "Dad, why do you keep doin' stuff that's risky?

(laughs) I mean, honest to Pete, you're drivin' me nuts, man!"

- "I haven't died yet."

(laughing) - That's a interaction to pay attention to because if you know he's a risk taker, it's a challenge sometimes because you've gotta create an environment that gives him enough that he feels like he gets to exert that risk behavior without it becoming truly dangerous.

(all laugh) - His threshold for thrill-seeking.

- [Teepa] Uh-huh.

- People understand things differently and comprehend things differently, and that leads to arguments.

Aging, illnesses, dementias can tear families apart if we're not properly educated or know what to expect from it.

- What's really important to know is what you are, who you are, what everybody else is in the system, and then creating a system that's going to be supportive.

- The thing that people fear the most about old age is not eye surgery, or whether they are slowed up, or even whether they're in a wheelchair.

What they fear the most is cognitive problems, that they will not be themselves.

- The willingness to look ahead.

It's really hard for people to do that.

You guys are a rare breed.

- Better to be early and prepared than to... be derailed.

(thoughtful music) - Our goal today is really to kind of touch on this big question mark of aging.

- Okay.

- We've seen people do it, we may have taken care of people who have done it, but it's never happened to us.

My job is to help you prepare for the future so we can be proactive instead of waiting until we're in a crisis state, and then we're trying to be reactive.

- [Roger] Right.

- Who would be the person speaking for you if you weren't able to speak for yourself?

- Well, I'm married, so first would be my wife.

- First would be your wife.

- Second would be my son.

- Okay, and did you have any documents that you created that said that?

- I have a living will in the process.

- Okay, good, so you're working on it.

- Mm-hmm.

I have one started, it's just not completed.

I don't know when I'll complete it, but it'll get done.

(talking over each other) - Well, how do you know when something bad's gonna happen, or when something could happen?

- Oh, I hope to be ahead of it.

- If you needed more help, like somebody coming into your house to help you with cooking, cleaning, maybe bathing or dressing someday-- - Other than my wife?

- [Kianna] Other than your wife.

- I don't think that would take place.

- Okay, what if she was doing all those things for you but all of a sudden, she got pneumonia?

- Oh, well.

- And wasn't able to do them?

- Then we'd have to make an adjustment.

- Right, who would be the person that would manage your financial affairs?

- Well no, I have not done that.

- Okay, and there's also a financial power of attorney.

- [Roger] I've got one.

- You have one, good.

- [Drey] Who's in charge of your finances?

- [Roger] I haven't filled it out yet.

- Oh, you have one though.

- I haven't completed it.

But it's ready, I'll have it ready to go.

Haven't outlined it particularly yet, 'cause I'm not ill, I'm not on death's door.

- [Drey] What are you thinkin' so far?

- I don't like any of it.

- It's a weird process, man.

- Yeah, man.

You don't like-- - [Drey] No, nobody wants to think about-- - To conscientiously think of that stuff.

- [Drey] No, you're right.

(Roger exhales) - There's no checklist on Earth that could cover everything that you might be faced with.

But what we do say is if you understand a person's values, if you understand what matters to them and if you have had a conversation with them, you will kind of be generally much more prepared to put yourself in their position and do what it is that they want.

It really is a gift to your family for them to know what to do when there's a crisis.

- [Narrator] We can partly predict some outcomes as we age and think about what life will look like.

But another part of aging, unavoidable for all of us, is a final period in which life will likely be very limited and we will require care.

- Yeah, this is really interesting.

(laughs) - [Narrator] So we asked everyone what they would want their care to look like if they couldn't care for themselves.

We had each of them consider a living will, a short document which can serve as a guide to the decisions we would like to be made during this period of life.

(thoughtful music) (scribbling) - The person I want to make healthcare decisions for me when I can't make them for myself.

If I had to fill this out now, I would probably use one of my children.

- I just never really talked to her about it because I never thought that it was that time.

- Well, one thing for sure, I've learned a lot and it doesn't hurt to be proactive, like they said.

- I think we need to sit down and do your living will.

I think I'm even willing to do it.

We need to do it ASAP.

As soon as they leave, we'll just stay here tonight and do it.

- No, I'm too tired.

(Drey chuckles) - But I am afraid that will be the response for a while.

Just avoiding wanting to talk about it, am I right?

- Yeah.

- You're just not ready to do it?

- Mm-mm.

- It's hard stuff to talk about.

(Drey chuckles) I told you I'll take care of you, though.

- In a coma and not expected to wake up or recover, that's a different kind of a situation.

- In the hypothetical, it's somewhat challenging thinking, "Oh, that's what would happen, okay."

- I am the parent that's supposed to speak about this and I have not felt like being the leader of this conversation.

- [Narrator] Even though having a living will can dramatically improve how we age during our most limited period of life, only one third of Americans have completed one.

- Everybody changes over time.

The fact that you write one advanced directive when you're 35, and then you may have another one when you're 50, and you may have a completely different one when you're 75.

What it means is that you have to revisit these conversations.

- [Narrator] After having seen their potential futures, the family spent some time with older adults in their communities who are working together to implement their own visions of aging.

- I don't have to look narrowly at aging as bearing a deterioration process.

Aging can be a growth process as well.

- Consistently, studies have shown that when you ask older people how happy they are, they are generally happier than younger people.

With the exception of dementia, older adults have half the rates of mental health problems.

- I don't wanna spend my days in sadness.

And I don't.

(laughing) - When you put on the aging suit, you have a physical experience of what aging is like, but you don't have an experience of what it's like from a social or an emotional point of view.

(distant chatter) With that, you're gonna have a more complex, more honest understanding of what the mix of experiences are.

- I'm Thomas.

- Hi, L'Oreal.

- Hi, Carol, nice to meet you.

- Nice to meet you.

- [Narrator] To offer Carol and L'Oreal the social experience of aging, we took them to a Philadelphia cafe that aims to bring generations together, regardless of age.

- We opened this place with the idea to create an area where people of all ages could come together and just hang out and have a good time.

Society has us kind of divided.

- I like the concept that you're bringing generations together.

It's a different way of maturing.

It felt like a comfortable space.

(upbeat music) So how did you get started here as a hostess?

- Well, my daughter was here first and she was making cookies and jams, and I came down to have lunch one day.

And I looked around and I'm going, "Oh wow.

This looks like a coffee house in the village in the 60s, only there's no smoke and there's lights."

(laughing) And the two owners, they said, "Listen, we were watching you, we want you to be hostess."

I said, "I've never done it."

They said, "You can do it.

We see it talking to everybody, you hug everybody."

So that's how I started.

- Older adults could benefit from having a connection with young people.

That often keeps them healthy and invigorated and positive.

- When it came to baking, the idea was to find a way to mix older bakers with younger bakers.

That's pretty much how we decided to go about reengaging retirees.

- He's my biggest booster.

(laughing) - This is awesome.

- Just to see Tina and not realize she was 90, I thought she might've been like 80, 75, 77, 78, somewhere along in there.

- [L'Oreal] How long have you been working here?

- I guess, well, two years.

- Wow.

- Do you see yourself ever not working here?

- No, uh-uh.

- No.

What's your one word for here?

- Friends.

- [Carol] Friends.

- Friends?

- Young and old, it doesn't matter who they are.

That's the idea of this place, they wanna reconnect the young and the old.

- We're all going to mature, our bodies will age.

But I think being old is more like a state of mind.

And I asked her, "Are there things that you wanna do?"

And she said, "Oh yeah," and she's 90.

So don't get old, get Tina.

(laughing) (bright music) - [Narrator] This marked the end of each family's week of immersive experiences.

Having seen 30 years into their futures, each family was asking themselves how they might change their lives in the present.

(thoughtful music) - [Abe] Todd, this is Carmen.

- [Narrator] As part of Abe and Leo's fast-forward experience, we took an extra step to show them how they might use their newfound knowledge about the future to help Leo's grandmother, Carmen, who was recently diagnosed with Alzheimer's.

- I wanna talk to you guys today about music.

We have a program called music and memory.

- Oh, okay.

- Are you a big music fan?

- I love music, but don't ask me to sing because I do not sing.

(laughs) - Okay, as any of us get older, our memory is not as good.

We build little iPods with music from your whole life to have music that will always help you to remember your life.

- Well, I can dance a tango for you if you want.

- Well, you can.

(laughing) - Not now.

- Not now, no.

(talking over each other) (laughing) - Well before we go, maybe we'll dance a tango.

Tango music is one of the kinds of music that you listened to when you were younger?

- Tango, flamenco, I used to go dancing.

- The more information I get, I can pick just the right music.

Those are the ones that make us who we are.

- [Carmen] That's true.

- I was intrigued by his approach to using music for folks that have memory problems.

- I'd love to hear the songs that are most important to you.

(thoughtful music) (Carmen sings in foreign language) - [Leo] This gentlemen was able to find a switch in Abuela's thoughts and memory and seeing her react, that was fascinating.

- That's a beautiful song.

- Sorry.

(laughs) - [Todd] No, that's a sad song?

Or you're remembering?

- Remember.

- From your life.

- My Buenos Aires.

- The translation is "Buenos Aires, when will I see you again?"

- Ah.

- Yeah, that's where she came from.

I was stunned when she started singing.

(Carmen sings in foreign language) - Abuela loves being around people and interacting with them but she's kinda become a little bit more reclusive.

- Now.

(all sing in foreign language) - To see her back in full force, the grandmother that I remember her being, boisterous and loud and loving, just by her singing a song from when she was 16, 17 years old... - Aren't you gonna dance tango, Mami?

(Carmen mutters) - Me?

- Si.

- No.

(slow tango music) - It really inspired me because I can build some memories.

My wife likes to dance, I wanna get into that now.

Maybe it's not for her, maybe it's for me.

(chuckles) I don't know.

(Leo kisses and claps) Those moments are precious, 'cause you can... (sighs shakily) Can't get 'em back.

(thoughtful acoustic music) - There is a lot more research that shows that music interventions help preserve our memory as we age.

Music serves as a point of interaction where we talk about what that song meant and the memories that that song elicits.

(Carmen speaks foreign language) - [Abe] You remember all the words, huh?

- "The path that time has erased, one day we will walk down again."

- Music could be a medicine, just as physical activity could be a medicine, and I think we underestimate the power of the arts in keeping older adults healthy and happy, and joyful.

(Carmen sighs) (thoughtful music) - When I said we were gonna do this fast-forward, I didn't know what to expect, really.

It was scary.

But it was an eye-opening experience.

I'm glad I did it.

To see into the future with Sophie, everything from the physical, the mental, and see what's available out there.

And to see what maybe I might look like.

When we did a surprise and y'all put me and Sophie together and we saw each other for the first time, aging 30 years... (laughs) Come over here.

- Mom!

Hey!

You know, I'm gonna say it, ya look pretty good.

(laughs) I think you should rock this look, too.

I'm loving your white hair.

- The potential of us sitting together, two old ladies, (laughs) that was cute.

Having all the external things has made me think about more internal things.

This is all external, you know?

The bodysuit that I wore the other day made me think, "I wanna take better care of myself."

- The suit was kind of interesting because it was like, "Right, Mom's gonna need help."

- But what we've been doing, though, in the past is we've been thinking, "We'll talk about it when we get there."

- Yeah.

- But guess what?

- We need to talk about it now.

Right now, we don't live together.

It will be nice to have you around when you're older.

Please make that pleasant.

(both laugh) ♪ Come and lay my burden down ♪ - What I've gone through this week, I think I'm prepared.

I know what steps to take in not only taking care of yourself, but also sharing what your wishes and desires will be later on.

What about Abuela, you think?

(chuckles) - Well, I now understand why she stays upstairs and watches TV all day.

Suit limits your mobility, but it doesn't let you feel what it feels like to have fibromyalgia, osteoporosis, or arthritis.

It's painful and it takes its toll on your mind too.

(thoughtful music) Every experience, I had my dad with me but I also realize that all the people that we were talking to were all part of a network, helping people age with grace and with support.

- To experience something like this, it's been a real eye-opener.

- My dad has been stubborn in a lot of the beliefs that he has about aging and what healthy aging can be.

Maybe before, he just thought he was along for the ride but now he knows that he might be able to steer the train a little bit.

- I don't see myself being closed up about it after this.

It's been a lot of awareness, a lot of information, facing some things, a part of me that I have not wanted to face.

- 30 years.

It's hard to jump that fast.

Me, that's what I was afraid of losing the most.

But I'm still there.

I'm still gonna be Susan.

Okay, yeah.

♪ Oh, when you try to please me ♪ ♪ I see you wear a heavy crown ♪ (all laughing) - [Susan] You don't look 60, honey.

Girl, you look about 45!

- One million smiles.

(laughing) Wonder who said that?

- Are very strong, hey, hey!

(laughs) (Roger laughs) - You've done us in.

We're done.

(laughs) - That's all I have to say, Eric.

(talking over each other) (bright music and whistling) (ambient music)